10 Reasons Not to Compare Oneself to Rocky

Sen. Clinton told the AFL-CIO yesterday that she is a lot like Rocky Balboa. "Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up. And neither do the American people," Clinton said. Well, here are ten reasons not to compare oneself to Rocky.

(1) Rocky suffers from a brain injury involving flashbacks and spontaneous headaches.
(2) Rocky compulsively takes off for mountaintops.
(3) Tanktops are so yesterday.
(4) Rocky's first pupil tried to beat the crap out of him.
(5) Mr. T did beat the crap out of him.
(6) Rocky tapped his wife's crazy brother to manage his money and lost everything.
(7) Rocky chases chickens.
(8) Rocky concedes that he is a moron ("You gotta be a moron to wanna be a fighter.")
(9) "Yo" is not a proper greeting for foreign heads of state.
(10) Rocky supports John McCain.